just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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