that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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