Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
