Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
