So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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