i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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