She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
my poor anus
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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