i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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