Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
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This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
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that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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