My balls are so social today.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
