guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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