I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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