physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
