I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Bring me that man meat
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
