I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
