You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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