Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize