my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
