We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
