i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
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This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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