i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
