Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
