it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
