I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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