everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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