my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
