Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
