he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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