physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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