plz talk dirty to me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
