a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
