why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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