I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
