On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.