listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How does one acquire holy water?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.