He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.