there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
