Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.

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(610): she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break. http://tfl.nu/sziy

Replies (9) Good night (649) Bad night (1972)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

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(502): Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER! http://tfl.nu/qf7o

Replies (9) Good night (899) Bad night (1984)
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(210): View more from Texas

Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?

(1-210): View more from Texas

I'll teach you how to wipe better

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(210): Dude why does my asshole itch so bad? (1-210): I'll teach you how to wipe better http://tfl.nu/7pt4

Replies (11) Good night (546) Bad night (2552)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day

(617): View more from Massachusetts

but fathers day is next sunday

(781): View more from Massachusetts

i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet

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(781): i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day (617): but fathers day is next sunday (781): i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet http://tfl.nu/pxvx

Replies (14) Good night (873) Bad night (4302)
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(619): View more from California

There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.

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(619): There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie. http://tfl.nu/om3k

Replies (31) Good night (880) Bad night (3566)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder

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(218): Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder http://tfl.nu/zi03

Replies (10) Good night (3518) Bad night (879)
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(305): View more from Florida

i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot

(1-305): View more from Florida

lets call myth busters

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(305): i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot (1-305): lets call myth busters http://tfl.nu/n34m

Replies (23) Good night (6370) Bad night (1483)
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(631): View more from New York

lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon

(1-631): View more from New York

wow.

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(631): lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon (1-631): wow. http://tfl.nu/6n98

Replies (20) Good night (4746) Bad night (1549)
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(906): View more from Michigan

Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

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(906): Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am? http://tfl.nu/ceer

Replies (12) Good night (2731) Bad night (1248)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.

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(413): Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun. http://tfl.nu/n06t

Replies (8) Good night (2708) Bad night (679)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.

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(503): Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur. http://tfl.nu/hsyp

Replies (7) Good night (659) Bad night (1609)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.

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(720): I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer. http://tfl.nu/jm0p

Replies (7) Good night (452) Bad night (1156)
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(206): View more from Washington

Peanut butter balls.

(1-206): View more from Washington

IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD

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(206): Peanut butter balls. (1-206): IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD http://tfl.nu/s2fd

Replies (10) Good night (681) Bad night (986)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...

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(602): I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion... http://tfl.nu/4785

Replies (3) Good night (474) Bad night (911)
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(301): View more from Maryland

The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...

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(301): The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ... http://tfl.nu/xsvz

Replies (16) Good night (567) Bad night (2089)

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