Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?

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  (214): she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her? http://tfl.nu/okee
  Replies (27) Good night (851) Bad night (3301)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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  (336): Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone? http://tfl.nu/bgt3
  Replies (22) Good night (8383) Bad night (847)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"

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  (601): Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing" http://tfl.nu/jpe9
  Replies (6) Good night (1241) Bad night (3634)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation

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  (352): Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation http://tfl.nu/era3
  Replies (4) Good night (3149) Bad night (882)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari

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  (973): If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari http://tfl.nu/13id
  Replies (22) Good night (1217) Bad night (2855)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.

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  (901): She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab. http://tfl.nu/iean
  Replies (6) Good night (2547) Bad night (878)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.

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  (210): I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be. http://tfl.nu/9s9m
  Replies (1) Good night (1750) Bad night (581)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.

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  (803): My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband. http://tfl.nu/w0zf
  Replies (5) Good night (2128) Bad night (832)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy

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  (717): That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy http://tfl.nu/ttbi
  Replies (5) Good night (1317) Bad night (603)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.

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  (613): He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time. http://tfl.nu/b5xq
  Replies (5) Good night (1249) Bad night (535)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around

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  (425): She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around http://tfl.nu/v7uu
  Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (357)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay

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  (330): I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay http://tfl.nu/przh
  Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (475)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.

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  (517): I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning. http://tfl.nu/kpo2
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (314)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.

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  (904): I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco. http://tfl.nu/2q18
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (349)
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  (607): View more from New York

  she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on

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  (607): she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on http://tfl.nu/rygw
  Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (297)

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