Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This guy has a retainer. We're golden.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(406): View more from Montana

he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.

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(224): View more from Illinois

you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night

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(630): View more from Illinois

You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five

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(314): View more from Missouri

I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.

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