Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?

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  (254): Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way? http://tfl.nu/etox
  Replies (24) Good night (5226) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport

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  (904): taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport http://tfl.nu/zg9o
  Replies (20) Good night (6869) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  our generation is not ready to get married

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  (314): Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"? (636): our generation is not ready to get married http://tfl.nu/klk9
  Replies (49) Good night (7036) Bad night (2684)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up

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  (440): maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up http://tfl.nu/j6pu
  Replies (6) Good night (3134) Bad night (1696)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.

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  (310): I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/laj1
  Replies (28) Good night (1236) Bad night (7227)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today

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  (605): You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today http://tfl.nu/jljr
  Replies (4) Good night (2663) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia

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  (815): Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia http://tfl.nu/lbzr
  Replies (2) Good night (1842) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.

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  (413): Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you. http://tfl.nu/55zo
  Replies (4) Good night (1451) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month

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  (515): I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month http://tfl.nu/wdkb
  Replies (9) Good night (1302) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor

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  (412): you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor http://tfl.nu/kbco
  Replies (4) Good night (1710) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.

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  (603): If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it. http://tfl.nu/n6dm
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.

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  (870): Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world. http://tfl.nu/aaq7
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.

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  (732): didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull. http://tfl.nu/3dne
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing

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  (310): He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing http://tfl.nu/pfhu
  Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.

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  (318): Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27. http://tfl.nu/0qjv
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (348)

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