i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
