and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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