So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
