is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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