Cold hands, warm shart.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
