i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woke up backwards on a recliner
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
