Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
