The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
