Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
