how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
