Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
