I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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