Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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