What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
