He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize