Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
