dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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