there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
