I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
