he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
