guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize