walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
