Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
