apparently the secret to your success is patron
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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