She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
