sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
