Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
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If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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