Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize