Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
