Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
